Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
