I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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