im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
