I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
