my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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