then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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