Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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