Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
