Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
