Pappa wants mamma naked
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just pee around me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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