I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
