No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize