So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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