The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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