we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize