i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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