how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
