is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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