normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize