After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
