Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
