Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
