school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Come see our sink grown plant.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
this hospital has no fireball
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
