woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize