I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
