he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
