Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
