Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
