yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
