youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
