I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
