i will never coherently bang her
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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