I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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