All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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