Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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