It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
