she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
