Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
