She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
