I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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