You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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