did you get engaged???
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
