Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
