I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
