my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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