I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
