Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
