What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
