i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
