'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think I am morally bankrupt
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize