I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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