Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize