Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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