You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
