If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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