I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i've created a new STD.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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