What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize