areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
