your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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