My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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