I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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